Often, it isn’t easy to begin a conversation with an aging parent or family member about aging, future plans, needing assistance with daily activities and even where to live. While these conversations may feel difficult at first, it’s important to begin discussing future plans before an emergency arises. These tips can help open the lines of communication and encourage thoughtful conversations about the future.
- Research different senior living options. As you educate yourself, you’ll likely find a range of options from independent living and in-home care to assisted living and continuing care, all of which include different types of senior care services. Be honest about the amount of help your loved one truly needs so you can find the best fit for them.
- Make a list of concerns you have for your parent or family member. For example, you may be worried about their ability to manage their medications independently or their physical safety at home. Write down everything that concerns you. Be ready to guide the conversation with questions that allow them to express their thoughts and plans.
- Set up a time to talk. Tell them about your concerns in advance so they can start thinking about their future. If they feel blindsided by the conversation, they may become defensive. Let any siblings and family members know about your planned discussion so they are aware, even if they can’t participate.
- Talk in person if possible. Select a time when you are both well-rested and can talk uninterrupted. You may want to meet at a neutral site outside of their home or involve a close non-family member, such as a friend, attorney, physician or minister.
- Use questions with supportive, respectful language when asking questions, while gently expressing your concerns for your parent or family member. Let them know you care about their well-being and want to understand their ideas for the future.
Sample questions:
“What things do you need help with around the house?”
“How has it been for you living at home? Have you considered whether you’d like to be around others your age?”
“Where would you want to live if you decided you would rather not live here anymore?”
- Listen carefully to what they have to say rather than immediately offering a solution. Reassure them that you are their partner in addressing a specific issue or need in their lives. Remember to use open body language, no crossed arms or hunched shoulders. Be patient and respectful – you can always return to the conversation later if it gets overly emotional.
- Keep talking. Although it would be nice to wrap things up in one conversation, you will likely need to talk more than once. It’s okay to take the time to develop a mutually agreeable plan unless you have an immediate health issue or safety risk to address with your parent or loved one at home.
Next steps.
These conversations may feel difficult at first, but they can help your parent or loved one navigate their next steps and create a plan together that works for everyone. We want to be a resource, so please contact us if you have questions or want more information about the care and living options The Palms at Plantation can provide.
